Do you ever have a rough stretch? A season of life you just feel off a lot of the time, unable to get in rhythm? Well, I hope so, because that’s what this post is about. I think we all feel that way for parts of our lives. If you’re not in one now, or don’t feel you want to contribute, go ahead and move on with your day. I’ll be back to regular posting next week. For the rest of you, here we go.
Does this resonate?
I’m feeling overwhelmed.
I feel over-committed.
I feel like I’m letting people down.
I feel that I’m doing a lot of little things, trying to keep my head above water.
My grandmother died after Thanksgiving, and I’ve gone about my business, allowing my weekend of slight reverie
before going back to the day-to-day. My wife’s grandmother died suddenly, I saw and experienced more hurt and pain for for this death, and while it didn’t effect me as deeply, the emotional toll was still strong. I was in the thick of the grieving, and it’s tough.
I’ve soldiered on.
And I’m gasping for air.
“They” say you shouldn’t blog about your personal life, that others don’t sign up to read your laments. The blog should be about the readers. It’s not about you. I agree.
But what about a theme as universal as death? The great equalizer, something we all have to look forward to?
What about the struggles of bad habits, of being emotionally drained, and having a dry well of inspiration?
These are things we all struggle with, universal pains we groan in.
I must simplify more, be able to step back from the aspects of life that don’t matter as much, and let them go for a season. Letting things go is unfortunate. I feel I’m letting people down, letting my own ideas down. But, I need to cut back on my commitments, not just the ones I’ve made to others, but ones I’ve made to myself.
Remember, are you saying no to one thing in order to say yes to the larger one? The thing you really care about?
I’m going to take a step back from social media. I’m afraid that by doing this I’ll ruin my influence, platform, and the like. I won’t accrue 1000 followers anytime soon, and I’ll probably miss out on some news.
What I’m choosing instead is writing. I would love to have the time and discipline to handle a blog, even the 1 post a week pace I’m at, and a robust social media presence. But I don’t.
I’m choosing mindfulness, and meditation.
For me, it looks like prayer, meditation, and spiritual readings. For you, it may look different.
I realized over the past couple of weeks that I had slipped back in to bad habits. I was checking my email when I woke up, often while in bed. I was a consumer, not a producer. I couldn’t even produce coffee first, or a meal for my dog.
I checked twitter, facebook, a couple of blogs, and *snap* 30 minutes are gone. Arguably the most important minutes of my day, an opportunity to set intentions, contribute, and stretch. But I spent it hunched over electronics.
Does this resonate with you?
How can I change? How can we change?
One of the temptations of having a blog and a readership is to act like you have the answers to all the questions.
Well I don’t.
Collectively, WE do.
Let’s look at the reasons we follow bad habits, and struggle with the things that really matter. I hope I’m not destroying your confidence in me, but the reality is I’m working on these priorities as much as you are! My hope for this blog is not for all of you to receive my weekly wisdom email and think it will solve your problems. Sometimes, it may, but collectively
I hope we form a community where you the post, it resonates with you, and YOU have something to share as well. That your voice counts as much as mine. I want to be a conversation stoker as much as a writer, a person who prods forth questions and peels back the layers of our motivations.
Answer man? Guru?
Instigator? Thought proving?
That’s more like it.
So when I write posts like this one, that seem self-indulgent and woeful, I ask you to think about how it reflects in your own life. What advice can we offer each other? What support?
This isn’t just a blog, it’s an online community.
Share it with me.
ps – if you thought this post was whiny and self indulgent, and you’re about to unsubscribe to the blog, now’s you chance to tell me about. C’mon, have the guts to speak your mind. If this post sparked a thought in you, I would like to hear that too.
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